Halloween isn’t just about costumes and candy—it’s also about clever wit and spooky charm. Humor and sarcasm have a way of lighting up even the darkest night, bringing a smile (or a shiver) to anyone scrolling through their feed.
This post brings together 80+ funny, witty, and memorable Halloween quotes for Instagram. Each one offers a playful twist, perfect for your next caption, story, or post. Get ready to laugh, grin, and maybe feel a little haunted.
1. Classic Halloween Movie Quotes
- “It’s Halloween. Everyone’s entitled to one good scare.” — Halloween
- “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” — J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
- “Mischief managed.” — J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
- “I’m the ghost with the most, babe.” — Beetlejuice
- “Amok! Amok! Amok!” — Hocus Pocus
- “Magic is really very simple, all you’ve got to do is want something and then let yourself have it.” — Halloweentown
- “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color.” — The Addams Family
- “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.” — Peanuts
- “There are three things that I’ve learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.” — It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
- “A person should always choose a costume which is in direct contrast to her own personality.” — It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
2. Witty and Sarcastic Halloween Captions
- “I’m a mouse, duh.” — Mean Girls
- “Creep it real.”
- “If you’ve got it, haunt it.”
- “Witch better have my candy.”
- “Resting witch face.”
- “Boo, Felicia.”
- “Fangs for the memories.”
- “Ghouls just wanna have fun.”
- “If the broom fits, ride it.”
- “Who needs a costume when you wake up scary every day?”
3. Spooky Literary Quotes
- “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” — William Shakespeare, The Tempest
- “Something wicked this way comes.” — William Shakespeare, Macbeth
- “Double, double, toil and trouble; fire burn, and cauldron bubble.” — William Shakespeare, Macbeth
- “Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see.” — Edgar Allan Poe, The System of Dr. Tarr and Prof. Fether
- “The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls.” — Edgar Allan Poe
- “We loved with a love that was more than love.” — Edgar Allan Poe
- “Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen.” — Unknown
- “By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.” — Shakespeare
- “Listen to them—the children of the night. What music they make!” — Bram Stoker, Dracula
- “Blood is really warm, it’s like drinking hot chocolate but with more screaming.” — Unknown
4. Funny Witchy Sayings
- “You say witch like it’s a bad thing.”
- “My broomstick runs on coffee.”
- “Witch way to the candy?”
- “Basic witch.”
- “I put a spell on you because you’re mine.”
- “Witch, please.”
- “This witch can be bribed with chocolate.”
- “Broom hair, don’t care.”
- “You can’t scare me, I have daughters.”
- “Keep calm and cast spells.”
5. Creepy and Cool Pop Culture Lines
- “Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep.” — A Nightmare on Elm Street
- “We all go a little mad sometimes.” — Psycho
- “I see dead people.” — The Sixth Sense
- “It’s alive!” — Frankenstein
- “They’re here.” — Poltergeist
- “You’ll float too.” — It
- “I put a spell on you.” — Hocus Pocus
- “Be afraid. Be very afraid.” — The Fly
- “It’s just a bunch of hocus pocus.” — Hocus Pocus
- “The power of Christ compels you.” — The Exorcist
6. Short and Snappy Halloween Captions
- “Fright night feels.”
- “Too cute to spook.”
- “Boo-tiful chaos.”
- “Trick or treat yo’ self.”
- “Ghouls night out.”
- “Bite me.”
- “Wickedly charming.”
- “Broom service.”
- “Haunting my exes.”
- “Dead but delicious.”
7. Punny Halloween One-Liners
- “I’m here for the boos.”
- “Ghostest with the mostest.”
- “You’ve got me under your spell.”
- “Creepin’ it real.”
- “Boo-yah!”
- “Witchful thinking.”
- “Squad ghouls.”
- “Bone to be wild.”
- “No tricks, just treats.”
- “Keep calm and spook on.”
8. Cute and Playful Halloween Quotes
- “Too ghoul for school.”
- “Pumpkin spice and everything fright.”
- “Cutest pumpkin in the patch.”
- “Sweet as candy corn.”
- “Boo crew vibes only.”
- “Trick or treat yourself.”
- “Monster mash mood.”
- “You make me batty.”
- “Love at first bite.”
- “Candy first, questions later.”
9. Gothic and Dark Aesthetic Lines
- “Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.” — The Addams Family
- “Every day is Halloween.” — Tim Burton
- “I don’t chase ghosts—they follow me.”
- “Beautifully broken.”
- “Darkness is where I shine.”
- “In the shadows, I find peace.”
- “Some souls are born in the night.”
- “My favorite color is midnight.”
- “I thrive in the moonlight.”
- “Welcome to my dark paradise.”
10. Funny Ghost and Monster Quotes
- “You can’t scare me, I have kids.”
- “Boo to you!”
- “Let’s get sheet-faced.”
- “Ghoul power.”
- “Resting boo face.”
- “Monsters are real, and so are late-night snacks.”
- “Boo-lieve in yourself.”
- “You make my heart skip a scream.”
- “I’m just here for the boos.”
- “Eat, drink, and be scary.”
Conclusion
From witty one-liners to timeless classics, these Halloween quotes for Instagram bring just the right mix of fright and fun. They remind us that Halloween isn’t only about spooky chills—it’s also about laughter, creativity, and clever wordplay.
Whether you’re feeling witchy, ghostly, or just want a laugh, there’s a quote here for every mood. Share your favorites in the comments, tag your best ghoul-friends, and keep this list handy for your next post. After all, the best part of Halloween is sharing the magic (and the mischief).