Halloween isn’t just about pumpkins, costumes, and candy—it’s also the perfect time for laughter and clever wit.
Humor brings lightness to even the creepiest night of the year, offering a fun twist on our fears and traditions. In this post, we’ve gathered over 80 funny, witty, and sarcastic Halloween quotes that blend spookiness with sharp humor.
Whether you’re looking for something to caption your costume photo or just want a good laugh, these quotes will leave you smiling and maybe even howling.
1. Classic Halloween Quotes
- “All the spirits, good and evil, fairy and pixie, witch and wizard, on this night will sure be stirring.” — Arthur Peterson, Halloween
- “It’s Halloween! It’s Halloween! The moon is full and bright and we shall see that can’t be seen on any other night.” — Jack Prelutsky, It’s Halloween
- “Halloween shadows played upon the walls of the houses. In the sky the Halloween moon raced in and out of the clouds.” — Eleanor Estes, The Witch Family
- “Be careful what you wish for, especially during the season of the dead.” — Byrd Nash, Delicious Death
- “It’s just a bunch of hocus-pocus.” — A.W. Jantha, Hocus Pocus & The All New Sequel
- “When witches go riding, and black cats are seen, the moon laughs and whispers, ’tis near Halloween.” — Unknown
- “There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight.” — Unknown
- “Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen, voices whisper in the trees, tonight is Halloween.” — Dexter Kozen
- “On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.” — Rodney Dangerfield
- “Every day is Halloween, isn’t it? For some of us.” — Tim Burton
2. Funny Halloween Quotes
- “I’m just here for the boos.” — Unknown
- “If you’ve got it, haunt it.” — Unknown
- “Candy first. Adulting later.” — Unknown
- “This witch can be bribed with chocolate.” — Unknown
- “I’m too ghoul for school.” — Unknown
- “Creepin’ it real this Halloween.” — Unknown
- “You say witch like it’s a bad thing.” — Unknown
- “I’m resting witch face today.” — Unknown
- “Why did the ghost go to the bar? For the boos.” — Unknown
- “I’m not afraid of ghosts; I’m afraid of running out of candy.” — Unknown
3. Witty Halloween Quotes
- “Some people are born for Halloween; the rest are just counting down to Christmas.” — Stephen Graham Jones
- “October proved a riot of color, a riot of death.” — Stephen King
- “Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.” — Mason Cooley
- “There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.” — Jean Baudrillard
- “The only thing we have to fear on Halloween is running out of wine.” — Unknown
- “Ghosts love a good pun—it’s in their spirits.” — Unknown
- “Halloween is the only time I can wear a mask and people call it festive, not suspicious.” — Unknown
- “I’m just here to lift your spirits.” — Unknown
- “A little trick, a little treat, and a whole lot of sarcasm.” — Unknown
- “Keep calm and scare on.” — Unknown
4. Spooky and Mysterious Quotes
- “By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.” — William Shakespeare
- “Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn and cauldron bubble.” — Shakespeare, Macbeth
- “Where there is no imagination, there is no horror.” — Arthur Conan Doyle
- “Listen to them—the children of the night. What music they make!” — Bram Stoker, Dracula
- “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” — William Shakespeare, The Tempest
- “We make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones.” — Stephen King
- “It’s as much fun to scare as to be scared.” — Vincent Price
- “Nothing on Earth is so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.” — Steve Almond
- “The moon has awoken with the sleep of the sun, the light has been broken, the spell has begun.” — Midgard Morningstar
- “There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.” — George Carlin
5. Halloween Movie Quotes
- “It’s alive! It’s alive!” — Frankenstein (1931)
- “We all go a little mad sometimes.” — Psycho (1960)
- “I see dead people.” — The Sixth Sense (1999)
- “They’re here.” — Poltergeist (1982)
- “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color.” — The Addams Family
- “Be afraid. Be very afraid.” — The Fly (1986)
- “Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep.” — A Nightmare on Elm Street
- “Do you like scary movies?” — Scream (1996)
- “We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!” — Ghostbusters (1984)
- “It’s Halloween; everyone’s entitled to one good scare.” — Halloween (1978)
6. Cute and Family-Friendly Quotes
- “Trick or treat, bags of sweets, ghosts are walking down the street.” — Unknown
- “A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.” — Erma Bombeck
- “Witch better have my candy.” — Unknown
- “Boo-tiful nights and pumpkin lights.” — Unknown
- “Cutest pumpkin in the patch.” — Unknown
- “Have a fang-tastic Halloween!” — Unknown
- “I’m under your spell.” — Unknown
- “Eat, drink, and be scary.” — Unknown
- “Pumpkin kisses and harvest wishes.” — Unknown
- “Witching you a happy Halloween.” — Unknown
7. Darkly Humorous Quotes
- “We’re all mad here.” — Lewis Carroll
- “Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.” — Morticia Addams
- “There is something haunting in the light of the moon.” — Joseph Conrad
- “Ghosts are just people too lazy to move on.” — Unknown
- “I’m here for the tricks, not the treats.” — Unknown
- “My blood type is pumpkin spice.” — Unknown
- “Fangs for the memories.” — Unknown
- “I’m the ghost of bad decisions past.” — Unknown
- “I put a spell on you because you forgot my candy.” — Unknown
- “I love Halloween—it’s the only day I feel normal.” — Unknown
8. Witchy and Magical Quotes
- “The witching hour is always near.” — Unknown
- “Something wicked this way comes.” — Ray Bradbury
- “A witch never gets caught. Don’t forget that.” — Roald Dahl
- “There’s a little witch in all of us.” — Alice Hoffman, Practical Magic
- “You say witch like it’s a bad thing.” — Unknown
- “Witches don’t wait for opportunities—they brew their own.” — Unknown
- “Magic is really very simple, all you’ve got to do is want something and then let yourself have it.” — Aggie Cromwell, Halloweentown
- “Witches run on coffee and chaos.” — Unknown
- “If the broom fits, fly it.” — Unknown
- “Beware the witching hour, when mischief takes flight.” — Unknown
9. Ghostly and Ghastly Quotes
- “Ghosts are real, this much I know.” — Shirley Jackson, The Haunting of Hill House
- “I’m just here for the boos.” — Unknown
- “The ghosts of our pasts never rest.” — Unknown
- “Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!” — Ghostbusters
- “Spirits of the night, rise and shine.” — Unknown
- “Haunting is a full-time job.” — Unknown
- “Boo to you!” — Unknown
- “I’m dying to have some fun.” — Unknown
- “Do you believe in ghosts? You should—they believe in you.” — Unknown
- “Every house has its secrets.” — Unknown
10. Halloween Wisdom and Reflections
- “Where there is no imagination, there is no horror.” — Arthur Conan Doyle
- “The farther we’ve gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we’ve needed Halloween.” — Paula Guran
- “Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.” — Japanese Proverb
- “A mask tells us more than a face.” — Oscar Wilde
- “Even monsters need a day off.” — Unknown
- “Halloween is the day to become what you fear—and laugh about it.” — Unknown
- “Darkness doesn’t scare me; running out of candy does.” — Unknown
- “Every shadow hides a story.” — Unknown
- “The night is dark, but full of laughter.” — Unknown
- “Some nights are made for magic.” — Unknown
Conclusion
Halloween isn’t just a night of frights—it’s a celebration of laughter, imagination, and a touch of mischief. These Halloween quotes capture everything from spooky wit to silly fun, reminding us that humor and fear can dance hand in hand. Which one made you laugh or think twice?
Share your favorites in the comments, tell us your own spooky-funny lines, and spread the Halloween spirit by sharing this post with friends. Whenever you need a good laugh—or a little scare—come back to these quotes and enjoy the season’s playful magic.