Friendship isn’t just about loyalty and love — it’s also about laughter, inside jokes, and those moments when you can’t stop laughing over something completely ridiculous. A good friend knows when to listen, when to tease you, and when to make fun of you just enough to keep things real.
In this post, you’ll find 80+ funny quotes about friends that celebrate the humor, honesty, and chaos that make friendship so great. These witty and sarcastic quotes will make you smile, laugh, and maybe text your best friend just to say, “This is so us.”
The Comedy of Friendship
- “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re OK, then it’s you.” – Rita Mae Brown
- “My friends and I are crazy. That’s the only thing that keeps us sane.” – Matt Schucker
- “Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” – Robert Brault
- “Friends are like walls. Sometimes you lean on them, and sometimes it’s good just knowing they’re there.” – Unknown
- “A best friend is someone who loves you when you forget to love yourself — and still makes fun of you for it.” – Unknown
- “You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you.” – Unknown
- “Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.” – Unknown
- “Friendship is born when two people find out they both hate the same person.” – Unknown
- “Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.” – Unknown
- “A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though you’re slightly cracked.” – Bernard Meltzer
Sarcastic Friendship Truths
- “A good friend will always stab you in the front.” – Oscar Wilde
- “I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.” – Jane Austen
- “I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell — you see, I have friends in both places.” – Mark Twain
- “Friends are God’s way of apologizing for your family.” – Unknown
- “My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me — after roasting me first.” – Unknown
- “A real friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires your garden.” – Unknown
- “Some people go to priests. Others go to poetry. I go to my friends.” – Virginia Woolf
- “We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.” – Unknown
- “Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have snacks.” – Unknown
- “Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.” – Unknown
Best Friend Humor
- “It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” – Marlene Dietrich
- “A best friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.” – Unknown
- “You and I are more than friends. We’re like a really small gang.” – Unknown
- “Best friends know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.” – Unknown
- “If you have crazy friends, you have everything.” – Unknown
- “Best friends don’t judge you. They judge other people with you.” – Unknown
- “We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile… then we’ll be new friends again.” – Unknown
- “Real friendship is when your friend comes over and you both just take a nap.” – Unknown
- “I love my best friend. She’s like a sister I got to choose.” – Unknown
- “You and I are like two peas in a dysfunctional pod.” – Unknown
Food and Friendship
- “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” – Linda Grayson
- “True friends don’t judge when you eat the entire pizza. They help you finish it.” – Unknown
- “Friends are the family we choose — especially the ones who share fries.” – Unknown
- “Coffee and friends make the perfect blend.” – Unknown
- “A good friend will always bring snacks. A great friend already ate them on the way.” – Unknown
- “We go together like cupcakes and frosting.” – Unknown
- “I love people I can be weird with while eating tacos.” – Unknown
- “Friendship is finding someone who will split dessert with you even when they said they were full.” – Unknown
- “Good friends offer you water. Best friends offer you wine.” – Unknown
- “A friend in need is a friend who finished your last cookie.” – Unknown
Classic and Movie-Inspired Friendship Laughs
- “She’s my friend because we both know what it’s like to have people be jealous of us.” – Cher (from Clueless)
- “We’re more than best friends. We’re like a really small dysfunctional sitcom family.” – Unknown
- “Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn’t allow it… 4:00, wallow in self pity; 6:30, dinner with me — I can’t cancel that again.” – The Grinch
- “Friends don’t let friends watch reality TV alone.” – Unknown
- “I’ll be there for you — unless it’s early in the morning.” – Unknown
- “A friend is someone who thinks you’re hilarious when the rest of the world doesn’t get the joke.” – Unknown
- “We could never be enemies. We know too much about each other.” – Unknown
- “Our friendship is like Netflix — always there, sometimes questionable, but never boring.” – Unknown
- “A friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move a body.” – Jim Hayes
- “I’ll always pick you up when you fall… after I stop laughing.” – Unknown
Honest Friendship
- “One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.” – Marcelene Cox
- “True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.” – David Tyson Gentry
- “You say I’m your best friend, but you didn’t even tag me in that meme.” – Unknown
- “Friends tell you what you want to hear. Best friends tell you when you have food in your teeth.” – Unknown
- “A friend is someone who makes it easy to believe in yourself.” – Unknown
- “Real friends don’t care if your house is messy — they care if there’s coffee.” – Unknown
- “If friends were flowers, I’d pick you — and then overwater you by accident.” – Unknown
- “I know we’re friends because I can text you a novel and you’ll reply with one emoji.” – Unknown
- “You know who your real friends are when you show up with greasy hair and they say, ‘You look fine.’” – Unknown
- “A friend who understands your weirdness is priceless.” – Unknown
Friendship and Sanity
- “My friends and I are crazy. That’s the only thing that keeps us sane.” – Matt Schucker
- “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re OK, then it’s you.” – Rita Mae Brown
- “We’re all mad here.” – Lewis Carroll
- “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting your friends to stop you.” – Unknown
- “If you’re crazy and you know it, clap your hands.” – Unknown
- “A little crazy is good. That’s how friendships survive.” – Unknown
- “If your friends don’t make you laugh until you cry, get new ones.” – Unknown
- “We don’t need therapy — we have each other.” – Unknown
- “True friends don’t judge your weirdness; they join in.” – Unknown
- “My friends keep me grounded — mostly because they laugh when I fall.” – Unknown
Girl Gang and Sisterhood
- “Friendship is not about who you’ve known the longest, it’s about who walked in and never left.” – Unknown
- “She’s my best friend. Break her heart, and I’ll break your face.” – Unknown
- “Girls compete with each other. Women empower each other — and laugh about their bad exes together.” – Unknown
- “We’re the type of friends who start laughing and forget why.” – Unknown
- “Behind every successful woman is a group chat full of snacks, sarcasm, and support.” – Unknown
- “Friends don’t let friends go out with bad eyebrows.” – Unknown
- “You know it’s real friendship when your friend says, ‘That dress is awful,’ and you thank her.” – Unknown
- “She’s the Thelma to my Louise — without the cliff.” – Unknown
- “We go together like eyeliner and winged disasters.” – Unknown
- “We didn’t find friendship. We made it happen with caffeine and chaos.” – Unknown
Conclusion
Friendship isn’t perfect — it’s messy, funny, sarcastic, and full of inside jokes that no one else would understand. These funny quotes about friends remind us how laughter connects people and turns ordinary moments into memories.
Whether your best friend is your partner-in-crime, your sounding board, or the person you call at 4 a.m., share this list with them and keep the laughter going.